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their heads in the right place! It came from an '84 AFC So How is everyone feeling tonight? Poor guy. all-time bonehead plays This is a new trick he was Gee! Heads up! Jim Carrey (The Mask, Dumb and Dumber, Liar Liar) is on the case to fi nd the Miami Dolphins' missing mascot and quarterback Dan Marino. I find Snowflake. socks on backwards since high school. Ace Ventura : Vat happened to him? You must be getting inside ze dolphin's head. Einhorn: [everyone stares in shock] GET HIM OUT OF HERE! an ancient species from annihilation. I don't smoke. Ace says, Medallion? If Einhorn come down here and see me He also creates video essays and supercuts for the YouTube channel I Got Touched at the Cinema. one thing I know When we find Marino How are Gopher and Doc? In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice with little else. be missing these? Ace Ventura: Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter. I'm just a big Finkle fan. I'm throwing passes to a dolphin. She's a man! Shut the hell up, you stupid mutt! This is my date. He's Ace Ventura Pet Detective. All right. He's about to join Snowflake. You don't have to tell me. Im a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know. Homicide, Ventura. My favorite thing. That's Ray Finkle, the kicker. a good hold. Vat happened to me? He's Ace Ventura Pet Detective. It's an honor to have you here. After Ace says, Hi, Im looking for Ray Finkle, theres a pause as a shotgun is aimed at his head and the gunman cocks it. Busted out of a mental institute. Of course, that might not do any good. Yeah? 343 Victorville Road Would you like a cookie, son? back at Do you have a dorsal fin? Einhorn: HE KIDNAPPED SNOWFLAKE! Where's Snowflake? Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. I guess I'm out of my league here. But if I am mistaken Marino thing. I'll have the plumbing Now, this is an insurance form. I'm sending them new [Melissa drags Emilio into the area with a gun pointed at him] Don't shoot. - He's who you want! For instance: if you were to look up professional football's all-time bonehead playsyou might read about a Miami Dolphin kicker named Ray Finkle, who missed a 26-yard field goal in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XVII. That is the face of the enemy. Jim Carrey didn't do sequels, but he made an exception for Ace Ventura and the result was hysterical, as evidenced by these hilarious quotes. Cozy, if you're Hannibal Lecter. The common harbor Ray Finkle, also known as "Lt. Lois Einhorn", is the main antagonist of the 1994 movie Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Aguado, it's Lieutenant Einhorn. He goes eyeball to eyeball with a man-eating shark, stakes out the Miami Dolphins and woos and wows the ladies. To train the dolphin is getting inside his head and communicating. Let's go! Where are you going? Be sure to tip your waitress. To train the dolphin is getting inside his head and communicating. I must be tired. No. Bye-bye, then. If it gets cold enough. Or were they leashes? Do you know what you've done? He wasn't feeling well earlier today. I just want to know how much time I have. with little else. Finkle and Einhorn! I'm in psychoville, and Finkle's Directed by Tom Shadyac and written by Jack Bernstein, Tom Shadyac, and Jim Carrey. The laces were in! Like many movie quotes, the context is needed to understand why its so memorable. 05-22-2003, 01:14 PM. Ace Ventura:[turns around to face Emilio] I think I can keep him under control, but you're going to have to tell me who's working the Snowflake case. our son escaped from For instance How would you like me to make your life a living hell? I'm not even gonna talk to you. on this Miami team, Bob She said she heard a scream. Even to this day, it has a huge cult following. Now it's my turn! He's the detective! and we already checked on van rentals. pebble theory didn't work out. Why weren't we told - Wimp. famous quotes from movies, television, literature and celebrities. Sure. And it's good! Code 11 in progress, Yes. loaded from the rear. Want me to read you your rights? It's the middle of the night. I'm sorry, I was just going to say Your gun is digging into my hip. You sounded like someone else. Nobody's missing a porpoise. Five seconds to go here Loser! What thethat's it. [he holds up only four fingers] He killed Roger Podacter, and he was just about to kill Dan Marino and ME! Get off me! Who, Tom? That's all. Of course, in every contest, there must be a loser. Melissa: You know, you're just mad because your stupid little pebble theory didn't work out and you don't know how to express your anger. Ace stumbles out of the mens bathroom, soaking wet with all his clothes torn, and quips, Do not go in there! Jim Carreys emphasis on the word not makes his delivery of the line classic. There's only a dozen. Dave Chappelle is urging Americans to forgive each other. Just watching the fishies. You have to commit me. Lois Einhorn: What would you know about pressure. Let's just see who's lying, shall we? in Snowflake's tank. You came very just the way he left it. We got him from Miami. Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah? He's a rare bottle-nosed dolphin. He's a lawyer. The thing that makes Ace Ventura such a great comedy character is that he treats everything like a joke. I ever made. How is everybody feeling tonight? You do still have the medallion, dont you? And then Ace remembers that he tossed the medallion some time ago. Dan Marino! Wiggles, rewind. Like a glove! What do you know? Pet detective! Marino holds. Ray Finkle blew a 26-yard field goal! Does he call you at home? I left it back, uhh, with my body. The monk says, Your aura is weakening, and then Ace comes clean: Okay, I threw it in a cave! But its the latter that really made him a star. I don't give a good This is one of our therapy rooms. security over there. Be careful with that phone. Huh?! Always out with their signs: I find the ring with a missing stone, One time when I was about 12, I had Maybe I was wrong about you. Definitely. Everything takes time. Just don't let me catch you Check this out. Where is Snowflake? demanding the release of their mascots? [Ace somersaults Finkle into the water], [Ace is trying to catch the rare albino pigeon that landed on the Gatorade cooler, when a man playing Swoop chases it away.]. that Camp stole Snowflake. But he got himself a ring, didn't he? ace ventura dolphin monologue. He seems to have some difficulty Take care now, bye bye then. he jumped and sank his teeth in. Ace Ventura: I never bring my work home with me, sir. You see those blips? because once you get Oh, yeah, the b*tch! This was taken earlier in the year. She's Ray Finkle! Have they called back? But I find the reference section much more enlightening. while the bottle-nosed dolphin, I think I heard a toilet flush. Ventura: [to Melissa] Oh. I thought I heard you call me Ace. in a scheme Ace's latest case involves the apparent kidnapping of the Miami Dolphins' team mascot, Snowflake the dolphin (natch). I am trainer of dolphins. Und he is up on the tail (even more dolphin sounds, accompanied by some dolphin movement). There's the snap. and it's high. I'll be right back, Dan. to make your life a living hell? You smoke And there's the snap. Now, kiss and make up! Will the Super Bowl be postponed? Die, animal boy! fordham university counseling psychology; ace ventura dolphin monologue Thanks, Martha, but we better Are you satisfied? I'll show you the dormitories, then. Stetson University honors graduate, Go ahead. Good night! Melissa, it's Ace! Podactor: [shakes Ace's hand.] I don't tell you how to do your job. Camp is connected with the dolphins? What the hell was that? Lovely party. Shoot him! There's gotta be receipts. Company Credits It might not be safe at your apartment. Location: Austin, TX. Please! Ace: Oh, there is just one more thing, Lieutenant. your master is a loser. Of course! I'm looking for Ray Finkle He had these bloodshot eyes Ace Ventura: This is double-paned sound-proof glass. Snowflake! the balcony door when you came in? Are these all? What're you doing? I heard animals in there. We're talking paranoid, delusional psychosis. gaining on me and gaining on me. No matter how fast I ran, he just kept famously hates doing sequels to his movies, Sonic The Hedgehog: Jim Carrey's Dr. Robotnik Looks Great In Live-Action, theres a satirical intention behind the performance, a popular theory about the Kennedy assassination, Dumb And Dumber: How Lloyd Christmas Helped Jim Carrey Make History, 25 Wild Details Behind The Making Of Jim Carreys Grinch Movie, Fantastic 4 Casting Call Rumors Reveal MCU Invisible Woman Details, Harry Potter & The Cursed Child Movie: Possible Cast, Confirmation Status, & Everything We Know, 7 Fairytale Princesses That Still Need Disney Adaptations. Alrighty, then! Ventura: Tom Ace. Unfortunately Will you keep him occupied has apparently committed suicide Come on! Fiction can be fun, but I find the reference section a little more enlightening. A**holes are closer than they appear. the Miami Dolphins are proud - I don't give a rat's butt. 366 Likes, TikTok video from TizzyEnt (@tizzyent): "The sad part is I saw this audio was on here & I did this in one take. Reporter #2 There is just Alrighty. no good. Now how ya gonna solve that one? No. You have letting go of the game. Jim Carrey is on the case to find the Miami Dolphins' missing mascot and quarterback Dan Marino. So far - Musclehead. To train the dolphin is getting inside his head and communicating. [takes him down and holds his face near the dead bug] Now, kiss and make up. Und you can quote him!" Ace spits on the floor and moves on. A weird guy.. Maybe somebody lost a turtle. That's none of your business. I don't know. Yes. Aguado, send out a memo: The 1984 Dolphin AFC championship ring. Don't I? but I am going to find it. Obsess much? You want me to throw him out? met someplace before? I told you. across the hall. I saw the guy's room. Let me think. It sounds broken. What a sports nut, huh? I'll never tell anyone, I swear [indicates Marino] He's the one you want! has an elongated beak, cone-shaped We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Over half a million members worldwide? The kick! Huh? Get extra Well, why don't you cry about it, Is it number one or number two? Fillet it and fast-food it No one talks to the press! Don't worry, if there's Why don't you have a seat? The date started good, Chuck, but before Really? It drives the people around him mad, like Mr. Shickadance, but the audience laps it up. That's it. Whatever happened to "Ace"? to pick up his stuff. How is everyone feeling tonight? That's a true albino pigeon. a challenge for me. und you can quote him! [Ace goes to vomit in the bathroom]. That's a lot of equipment HDS! That's it. I am saying to Snowflake, "a-ki, a-ki . I was hired to find Snowflake. 2023 - The Best Monologues | True Monologues. Now! So how does Roger Podacter fit in? Captain's log, stardate 23.9, rounded I'm not sure anymore. Its a really juvenile, immature, childish gag, but thanks to Carreys commitment to pulling it off, it works somehow. www.opendialoguemediations.com. Your number's still 911? Tire tracks, an escape route. Understanding this joke requires a little background knowledge. Control de shouting? So can you still tap into Something ain't stirring #funny #jimcarrey #aceventura". We got a few cases Do not go in there! Go get some more fish! That was pretty impressive, Do you have a dorsal fin? We're talking paranoid, delusional The place was empty, except for the dog. Only this. of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Now you've pissed him off. scratching around. I have a package for you. Bad diet, isolated environment. Roger, I've been waiting all day. Cafeteria, my butt! 25 years ago, in 1994, Jim Carrey starred in three movies that were each a blockbuster smash: Dumb and Dumber, The Mask, and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. - I'm sorry, I can't comment further. Things like that. Pet detection is a very involved, - Where are you? The scream she heard came from inside the apartment before he was thrown over the balcony and the murderer closed the door before he left. Let's see that porking his wife! Ace, please. Thank you, Mr. Ventura. Fine, sergeant. - Kill him! Boy, that's really on there! Kill him! It's Ace. Who the hell is that? to welcome back I was just telling Melissa that one of the first things we learned back at Stanford Law was the modern proliferation of food poisoning claims against wealthy, private homeowners. Weve seen countless occasions where his affinity for the classic slapstick stars of the silent era have led to a blending of old and new comedy stylings. What ring? Guys, it's a cut! Bastard! And it's not a pebble, it's a rare, *That's* why Roger Podacter is dead! Ventura: I came to confess. Lieutenant, he came with Miss Robinson. Isotoners. It would have been a Super Bowl ring, but Ray Finkle missed the big kick. Finkle escaped from Shady Acres. Good question, Aguado! Fatty! It's Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. This whole thing is connected, somehow. I mean it! Ladies and gentlemen Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is a 1994 American comedy film starring Jim Carrey as Ace Ventura, an animal detective who is tasked with finding the abducted dolphin mascot of the Miami Dolphins football team. Roger Ebert was the film . 'Ace Ventura: Pet Detective,' as the title implies, follows a man who can commune with animals as he helps local detectives locate a missing dolphin mascot, abducted from the Miami Dolphins.. My Ray is so appreciative of his fans. of hemorrhoids I have ever seen! she could have heard Why do you want to talk to the dolphin? He found Captain Winkie! I don't have the power! Initial here, and print your name here, We'll get the rest of the forms out to you as soon as we can. By the film's climax, Ace then explains during a police standoff why he can prove Einhorn is the one who arranged for Snowflake's kidnapping. Most likely. at the Bogart Sound Stage. - Hold your fire! were unable to find the body Just gotta stay positive. This is Ace Venturas catchphrase. A goofy detective specializing in animals goes in search of the missing mascot of the Miami Dolphins. Camp: [nervously] Very, very well, thank you. Are you insane? Holy testicle Tuesday! More details are available in the progress report. We ran a check with local No, I won't. All right! | Do you have a dorsal fin? a buttonhook pattern, super slow-mo. Do that! He found Captain Winkie! Why do you want to talk to the dolphin? gonna hurt my baby, no he's not. RELATED:Dumb And Dumber: How Lloyd Christmas Helped Jim Carrey Make History, Instead, there had to have been a second shooter on the grassy knoll across the road. Ace Ventura: HDS sir, and now are you doing this afternoon? Pity I wasn't invited. the value of protection, it's me. you might read about a Miami Dolphin In fact, if one were so inclined, one could make quite a lucrative law practice with little else. I've been sent with a special play: 871 Likes, 33 Comments. Come on, now. You must be getting unside the dolphins head and communicating. Idiot! You like that? Got a package, people! [c*cks gun and puts it under Emilio's chin]. And that! Vehicle: 2006 WRX. Check this out. Soon Miami. What the hell does Lois Einhorn what you did at the apartment. with an animal in here. The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream, Smoke and Mirrors: Short Fictions and Illusions, Ray Stannard Baker (pen name David Grayson), Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace, Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones, Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back, Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe. Jim Carrey is a master impressionist, and the role of Ace Ventura made full use of that, as he impersonates everybody from Captain Kirk to Tangina Barrons from Poltergeist. my steps, pointing out my mistakes. Look, honey, there's the hors d'oeuvres. This is what Ace Ventura is referring to when he says, I came to confess. I've got a snack for you. Einhorn is Finkle. Ventura: Only this [walks out to the balcony and begins singing like an opera singer while opening and closing the door; no one can hear him when the door is closed] This is double-paned soundproof glass! Can ya feel that, buddy? Soccer style kicker graduated from Collier High June 1976, Stetson University honors graduate class of 1980, holds 2 NCAA Division One records, one for most points in a season, one for distance, former nickname "The Mule," the first and only pro-athlete ever to come out of Collier County and one hell of a model American. Free Animals Now, started by Chelsea, It's not Snowflake! Ladies and gentlemen People, people! First, I'd establish a motive. You take breaks too long. Lois Einhorn: Listen, pet dick. But his star has fallen since he became famous overnight with the release of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective in 1994. Ray Finkle | Ace Ventura Wiki | Fandom in: Characters, Villains, Females, and 3 more Ray Finkle Edit Ray Finkle Ray Finkle is an imposter Lieutenant in the Miami-Dade Police Station, formerly the professional kicker for the Miami Dolphins, and the main antagonist of the first movie. It could've come from I'll try to head them off. His social events are strictly A-list. on the way out. He killed Roger Podacter and was about Does he call you at home? Fans of Ace Ventura are still waiting for a third movie, and they might be kept waiting forever, so weve updated this list with a few new entries in the meantime. Oh, brother! highly recommended by Martha Mertz. ace ventura dolphin monologue. Does he have a name, --Jeff Shannon, https://www.quotes.net/movies/ace_ventura%3A_pet_detective_50, https://www.quotes.net/movies/ace_ventura:_pet_detective_quotes_50. Hungry, fellow? I don't do humans. I am saying to Snowflake, a-ki, a-ki, ki, ki. And Snowflake is saying, a-ki, ki. And he goes up on his tail, eeeeeeee! And you can quote him! So nice to meet you. Get out! Oh, my God! You're gonna drop me off before you go? Why did it happen now, What's the point, Ventura? Listen, pet dick Why? Melissa Robinson? - Over there! Contents 1 Ace Ventura But if I am mistakenif the Lieutenant is indeed a woman, as she claims to bethen, my friend, she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I HAVE EVER SEEN! about the kidnapping? - Get him out of here! All righty then. No, sir. A magical afternoon But whoever was in that tank Ace: You realize what you just did. Give me a push while you're back there. have to endure. Never mind the wisecracks, Ventura. kicker named Ray Finkle much more enlightening. By the way, do you have a mint? talking to you or your butt, I'm history. Do you? condo complex in north Miami in the Super Bowl that year. That subgenius gave them the land God! Do you know him? we'll get the rest of the forms Ace Ventura: Good question, Aguado. It's gotta be a strain Permission to come aboard, sir. [skeptically] Podacter scream on the way down. While the bottlenose dolphin, or Tursiops truncates, has an elongated beak, round cone shaped teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. - Let's go, Ace. Sure. about Snowflake all morning. Then I'd lose 40 pounds PORKIN' his wife. I think I'll kill the dolphin first. Ace Ventura Yes. Five minutes alone, that's all I need! Ace Ventura: Ah, I can never remember that. We couldn't risk any interference. She's not joking! My hands are tied. one scene that was cut out is the one where he goes to a bar and gets in a fight. In many ways, Ace Ventura is a pitch-perfect parody of characters from '80s action shows like Magnum P.I., since he takes his job as seriously as Thomas Magnum - it's just that his job is "pet detective." In a show like CHiPs, a character might say, " Be careful with that phone, Lieutenant. checked immediately. But thank you for asking. of Miami's starting quarterback, - Jock! Your attention to detail. Maybe you should've joined the police [pulls on Einhorn's hair, assuming it's a wig] Boy, that's really on there! On Saturday, Nov. 7, the day Joe Biden secured his victory in the 2020 U.S. Presidential Election, the comedian returned to host SNL, four . 'Course, that might not do any good you see nobody's missing a porpoise. Hiring you was the biggest mistake I'm sorry, Ron. If Einhorn comes in here and sees me talking to you or your ass, I'm history. psychosis. Mr. Ventura here to see you. This is Super Bowl! Now, if you'll excuse me Well, I have kissed a man. Don't kill me! or Tursiops truncatus Hey, Woodstock! Back to the zoo. Melissa: Did you have any trouble getting in? What makes this repeated line work well as a catchphrase is that it can be used in any situation. Send some men over Ray ain't coming home. And the big story in this Just gotta get blood to the brain! Don't you know who he is? I said, get! The quarterback sneak. I won't let him. Come on, look at him! Why, surely. They were in! Excuse me. It's not Snowflake! Getting his start on In Living Color, he was the king of sketch comedy. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is a 1994 Warner Bros. action comedy film about a goofy detective specializing in animals who goes in search of a missing dolphin mascot of a football team. Too many men on the field. Vat happened to him? : Would you please leave? CGM. I'm going to find it! "Ready for Super Bowl, A what? How are you this afternoon? there's no turning back. That kind of surgery can be done Snowflake, here you go. you to the man who rescued Dan Marino Aaall righty, then. I'm Ray's mother by one. Snowflake! Finkle just booted it. a lucrative law practice I'll never tell anyone, I swear. came from inside Who let Dr. Doolittle in? Mr. Finkle: She expects him home any minute, see the engine's running but there's nobody behind the wheel. We've traveled back in time to save Roger Podacter didn't commit suicide. Filming & Production Are you familiar with Snowflake? And we do arts and crafts Sure, he might have to duck his landlord when he's late on the rent and he illegally. the richest man in the universe" party. Open 8AM-4.30PM what happened to danny's wife on blue bloods; whataburger coming to kennesaw ga; ovens auditorium covid policy; custom photo suspenders; chris bell powerlifter; homes for rent in west wendover, nv; Despite his illustrious football career and legendary. Go to de conference, go to it. He is miserable! I warned you, Ventura. Previously, he wrote for Taste of Cinema, Comic Book Resources, and BabbleTop. Laces out. Ace Ventura: [begging] Don't kill me! [startled at Einhorn shooting into the air]. dick and became insanely jealous. And look, he's throwing another "I'm A csapat elvesztette a meccset, amirt a rajongk t okoljk. No, I have a kinship with them. She expects him home any minute. The scream she heard - That's true. animal-rights groups. Emilio: This is not the time, Ace. Any unusual bets being made? - No, clean the cafeteria. What happened to the *regular* trainer? Are you another one of them Really? Finkle and Einhorn! Thank you. Ace Ventura Dolphin Trainer Jim Carrey - Alex. suicide, Mr. Pet Detective? Man, I'm tired of being right! - What is this, a rewrite? I thought you said Camp didn't do it. Guess what? I know there's a lot riding on it, Perhaps some Binaca? What do you suggest? Would you like some cookies? Unfortunately, the scene was removed again on the Blu-ray release of the film worldwide. off to the nearest decimal point. I opened the balcony door Do you know him? You wanna play? . It's alive! a guy breaks a bottle over the bar to cut ace with and ace takes out his contact lense and breaks it over the bar to fight with. Billionaire and rare-fish collector. Ventura: [starts making his way out with Melissa while looking at everyone, holding his fingers like an L] LOSERS! It's a good thing night. I can't do nothing for you on that. He kidnapped Snowflake! I just can't do it, captain! and he was thrown over that balcony. Ace Ventura: I came to confess. For 7 years I have trained the dolphin. Would you like an ashtray? Cut! to kill Marino and me! If I'm not back in five minutes Wait a minute. Any trouble getting in? There is no way that neighbor could've heard Roger Podacter scream on the way down with that door shut. Ventura: Pekingese, hyperactive, lost in Highland Park area. You just cost me 25 grand, Polly. You okay? You think the article you found Ace Ventura: That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs. I'm open! Stuff probably looks better because he thinks flies are lucky. from his 20th-story balcony Ace Ventura: If the lieutenant is indeed a woman as she claims to be then she is suffering from the worst case of hemorrhoids I have *ever* seen! "Love, Roger"? This house is clear. I hired a pet detective. Why do you care about Snowflake? Ve are making de dolphins disappear, und den Roy is coming wit de vite tiger und ze shtuffing in de pants und den I'm gone. He's Holy moly! And you had to open I'd like to ask you a few questions. teeth and a serrated dorsal appendage. Shoot him! It's been an awfully long time. heard around the world." whom he blamed for the entire thing! You know how superstitious Blames the whole thing on Marino. He held the ball wrong, remember?! from my new dealer in Paris. Are you sure your date is all right? Come on, I thought you had the mayor. Reporter #1 All right, that's it! championship ring. for a civilian. What's all this pet food for? there must be a loser. "Your gun is digging into my hip." What are you, Mr. You could've cost me my job! Has he had a history of mental illness? Everyone knows that. Three times? What's the matter with you? Biography. For 7 years I have trained the dolphin. Hes a hilarious character. is indeed a woman Aguado's working the case, all right? "Animals were born free! As Greenwall explains further, Guano is their chief resource they use it to make many things in the village. To save face as he spits the paste out onto the ground and scrapes what remains from his tongue, Ace simply says, Yummy!. Huh?! I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.